Wounds
by ClumsyKlutzBella
Summary: Post New Moon. Pre Eclipse. Edward has to go hunting, leaving Bella behind for a night. Our heroine has to fight hard for her sanity, until Edward comes back. What happens when Edward sees her break-down? ExB One-shot.


A/N: So, a little one-shot that just overcame me. I had to write it. I hope you review, although it turned out a bit angstier that intended.

Summary : Post New Moon, Pre Eclipse. Edward has to go hunting, leaving Bella behind for a night. Our heroine has to fight hard for her sanity until Edward comes back. What happens, when Edward sees her break down?

**Wounds**

Wounds don't heal easily. They keep burning and open up again, if you aren't careful enough. They can be small and only skin deep, healing quickly and only needing a tiny patch. But they can also be deep and gashing, suppurating and bleeding, having to be stitched and leaving behind an angry puckering scar. Pain killer ease the denial, but can be only used for physical wounds. Emotional ones keep aching. Now matter what kind of wound, it always hurts and the injured one avoids situations, where he can be hurt like that again. Unfortunately one can't avoid everything.

I numbly stirred the noodles in the hot water and glanced at the watch every few minutes, awaiting the moment the clock stroke ten, so it wouldn't look strange, going to bed.

Evenings like this were always painful. Mere minutes without Edward were ... displeasing, but a whole weekend without _any_ of the Cullens was pure torture. I didn't know how I had survived until Sunday evening. I had begged Edward to go hunting for nearly one month only to have him go hunting when he hadn't even the self-restraint to go to school anymore. Sadly, this moment fell onto a weekend where all of the Cullens had to go hunting. So no one could stay behind and watch me. As if I needed a babysitter. That's what I had thought until I had come to see the range my obsession had come to. I couldn't even live three days without them. Pitiful.

I jerked my hand away from the spot on the stove where it had previously lain, before it could be burned. I really schouldn't space out like that, worrying my head off. He would come back to me. He would come back.

Even without a vampire's super-hearing, I could hear Charlies car pull up our driveway and his door slam shut. I counted inwardly from 15 backwards and surely the frontdoor opened when I was done.

"Hey, Bells", he said good humoured, as he saw me standing at the counter. He quickly observed the otherwise empty room as if he was missing someone.

"Where's Edward?", he asked slightly worried. I had to swallow the lump in my throat, before I could answer.

"He's hiking with his brothers", I said flatly, trying to sound casual. Charlie looked up, since my efforts had failed miserably. My voice was strangled and weak, showing clearly my emotional state. As he saw my face he seemed shocked and I wondered briefly how I looked. I felt like a zombie all over again. Pitiful.

Suddenly a grin spread across his face. "If you're having a fight or something like that, I could call Jacob over. I bet he'd like to cheer you up." If possible his mood seemed to get even better.

I quickly shook my head. "No, Dad, I'm not in the mood." Luckily my voice wasn't so tiny anymore, reassuring Charlie a bit. I really wasn't in the mood for Jake's carefree attitude. He may be a werewolf, but when he was with me he seemed to change back to my sun. As pathetic, as it may sound, I'd prefer wallowing in self-misery. Not to mention the trouble I'd be in as soon as Edward'd smell his scent on me. I didn't need any unnecessary problems.

"Oh, okay", Charlie muttered. Fortunately, the noodles were ready and the food distracted him from asking more questions. We ate in silence and I tried to block out his rather unappetite smacking. As soon as he had cleared his plate, I stood up, made the dishes and hurried upstairs. I couldn't stand his questioning gaze on me anymore.

Once I was upstairs I didn't know what to do. It was still early, not even six o'clock, and Edward wouldn't come back until next morning. What to do?

I decided to take a long shower first. My favorite shampoo, still with a strawberry scent, relaxed my tensed muscles. I showered until there was no hot water left and even blow dried my hair. As I went back into my room the watch showed halb past six. The hole in my chest began to prickle. I didn't know, if I would hang on long enough.

I needed a distraction. Badly.

After a short amount of thinking - or more precisely a frantic searching trough my mind - I rummaged through my shoe box with CD's, looking for my birthday gift from Edward. Perhaps it would help me to calm down. I looked through them and was quickly done. It wasn't in there. I looked through it again, and even a third time. I was beginning to panic. Perhaps I had left it in the stereo. I looked in there, too. The CD wasn't there.

Where. Was. My. CD.

My chest started to hurt really hard and my breathing turned shallow. I had to use one of my arms to hold myself together.

Well, if I couldn't find my CD, I'd just have to use my photo album. Perhaps pictures from Edward would calm me down. Said and done, normally the album was in one of drawers of my desk. But ... it wasn't there, either. It seemed, as if everything I owned from Edward, had disappeared.

It was so familiar, the fear that everything I experienced with Edward was a mere product of my fantasy. That nothing of it ever happened.

_It will be as if I never existed_

And suddenly I knew exactly why this feeling was so familiar. I had tried to push this empty months to the furthest corner of my memory, but now it came all crashing down on me. All my things and most important, my Edward was gone.

Gasping for breath, the world spinning before my eyes, I scrambled on my bed and curled into a little ball. My hands and feet were as cold as snow and I felt like I was going to fall to pieces. Tears were continously leaking from my eyes, but my face felt so numb, that I didn't even feel them.

I didn't know how long it took me to fall asleep, but in my dreams I wandered through the forest, loosing myself in its endless green depths, eventually forgetting what I was looking for and awakening with the expected scream. So pitiful.

I couldn't do anything but crying. Curling up again, and crying as if there's no tomorrow. Honestly, I was a bit surprised that Charlie didn't storm into my room, but his sleep was probably not so light anymore.

Suddenly my window opened and a white, ghosty figure slipped into my room.

"Bella, are you okay?", asked a frightened and worried, but still silky and velvet, voice, I knew all too well.

"Edward", I sobbed miserably. He was by my side in an instant, hugging me tightly.

"Good god, you're alive." He sighed in relief. "I was just outside your house and heard your scream. I was so scared that some random robber had killed you." He kissed my hair softly.

I sniffed, slowly calming down.

"What leads me to the next question", Edward mumbled, concern evident in his voice, "what happened, Bella? Why did you scream. Are you sick?"

I could only shake my head. He waited a few moments, but as it was clear that I wouldn't answer, he sighed again.

"You have to talk to me, Bella."

"It will make you sad", I answered, burying my face in his chest.

"And I can see that you are sad. I have to know it, Bella. Please?", he whispered, his golden eyes glowing.

I was completely calm now, so I could think it all through. I had been ridiculous. And I would absolutely _not _tell him.

Edward sensed my resentness and smirked. He lowered his face and began to place small butterfly-kisses on my jaw line. "You're not going to tell me?", he teased, stopping his kisses just below my trembling lips. "Well, then I'm not going to kiss you." Saying so, he leaned back, watching my expression with a mischievous smirk.

I sighed in frustration, leaning back on my pillow. Suddenly his face was serious. "You cried nearly the whole night, Bella. You're tired and worn out. I _have _to know what's bothering you." He released the sheer power of his gaze, leaving me dizzy and lightheaded.

Okay, maybe I would tell him. Uh. Pitiful.

"Did you ever see, in Charlie's memory for example, what I was looking like, after you ... left", the last word was a barely audible whisper. I couldn't see his face due to the darkness, but I felt the sudden tension in his body.

"When I'm without you for longer than a few hours, I revert back to that ... state again."

I felt him nod against my shoulder.

"Normally, I'm okay, if I distract myself long enoufh or cry a bit. Because I know that you'll come back again."

Suddenly his schoulders began to tremble. Only slightly, but his rigid posture seemed to slack angainst my body.

"But today I couldn't find your CD and my photo album. It was like our break-up all over again. I was horrified that you were going to leave me again!"

Finally Edward looke up and met my gaze. His whole body shook with silent sobs.

"I saw you, Bella, in Charlie's mind, in Mike's mind, in everyone's mind! I regret leaving you every waking moment, but I still can't forgive myself. I hurt you, made you cry harder than everyone else. You don't trust me and I can't even blame you."

His voice broke and I embraced him.

"I trust you. I was ... ridiculous. Edward don't feel bad. It won't happen again.", I sighed. His presence always made me happy.

He was still sobbing and I was panicking again. He never cried before, well at least not in front of me and it was so ... not Edward.

"You must think I'm a crybaby. I'm sorry. Normally I'm not that emotional. It's just that I didn' t like the weekend without you either." He chuckled without humour.

I had to laugh and promptly started to cry again.

Edward laughed, too. "Now, look at us, we're emotional wrecks. How pitiful."

We were laughing and crying, holding each other and finally happy again.

"By the way. The CD is in you transporter. You forgot it there. And the photo album is with Alice. You gave it to her, remember?"

I nodded sleepily. Of course. How could I have forgotten?

"Sleep, my Bella, sleep, my angel. I will watch over you and never leave your side again."

Wounds may take long to heal, but with some good salve, it will be forgotten, soon. The scar will be a constant reminder, more of a warning, than a charge. You have to give it time to heal, letting it do it on his own, with just a little help. It's no wonder, a mother blows on a child's scratch, because sometimes affection can be medicin, too. There's a cure for everything. You just have to look for it long enough.

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A little review, for a little one-shot?


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